11 ’90s Movies That Flagrantly Disregard Child Labor Laws

Time Stamp: April 20, 2022 4:44 PM

What a truly bizarre time the ’90s were for movies. With a bunch of over-the-top ridiculous action films perhaps remembered as the best the decade had to offer, we also can’t forget about a genre that just doesn’t seem to exist anymore: Movies about kids getting adult jobs, for some reason.

It seems the ’90s simply didn’t care about child labor laws and, instead, thrived on stories where kids were enlisted into jobs that not only were they not qualified for, but many of them were way too dangerous. Seriously, what adult in their rightful mind hires a kid to be a cop or lets him be a pitcher on a major league baseball team? On the surface, it might be a dream come true for the child. Realistically, though, it’s got bad news written all over it.

Join us as we jump back in time to look at the 11 movies from the ’90s that seem to care the absolute least about child labor laws–along with a special treat from the year 2000 that just missed the cut. To be clear, we’re not talking about movies where the actors themselves may have worked too much, but rather stories about kids who definitely shouldn’t have been on the clock so much.

Did we miss any movies? If so, sound off in the comments!

1. Last Action Hero

It’s the movie that inspired this particular piece. Last Action Hero, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, is such a great movie. Before Scream really helped turn the horror genre into a celebration of everything meta, Last Action Hero did it for action films. A kid gets sucked into his favorite action movie franchise and it’s as over-the-top and ridiculous as you might expect? How over-the-top? The little kid gets deputized by the police and made the partner of Jack Slater (Schwarzenegger). Seriously, this Danny kid is made a cop in what looks like the most dangerous place on earth. That seems wildly illegal, but given there’s also an animated cop on the force, who knows?

2. Richie Rich

Even the richest kid in the world can’t get away from doing a job so far out of his age range that it’s laughable. While Richie seemingly had a perfect life–he has a McDonald’s in his house for crying out loud–he’s also enlisted into making public appearances in his dad’s absence. Why are you sending a 10-year-old to speak at a tool factory? What does he know? Then, when his parents are missing (and presumed dead), he’s allowed to take over his dad’s corporation–which he rules with a fist full of candy and a pair of rollerblades.

3. Blank Check

In a weird way, the kid at the center of Blank Check employed himself. After all, Mr. Macintosh isn’t real. Instead, 11-year-old Preston gets a bank check from an escaped convict, gets his hands on a million dollars–through the most ridiculous set of circumstances–and starts his own business that, well, doesn’t do anything. He does, however, hire himself as Mr. Macintosh’s assistant, and, for some reason, everyone just accepts it. Why did this reclusive millionaire hire some random kid to run his empire? You’d think people would have seen through the lie more quickly than they did, but his parents were too busy commandeering his room so his jerk brothers could start a business of their own.

4. Camp Nowhere

Kids running their own summer camp? That sounds like exactly the kind of movie that would take the ’90s by storm–and it did. When a bunch of kids realize their parents are sending them to lame summer camps, they decide instead to start their own and even blackmail a teacher–played by Christopher Lloyd–into helping them pull it off. Yes, these kids run their own business, allowing kids they don’t know to also attend the camp, using the money paid by parents to keep them all entertained for the summer. Not surprisingly, the plan blows up in their faces and they all get found out, but not before successfully running a summer camp.

5. Rookie of the Year

Rookie of the Year is the tried and true story of a little leaguer breaking his arm, and it heals in a way that defies science, which allows him to throw faster pitches than any professional baseball player. So, naturally, he gets signed to the Cubs. Honestly, signing a child to a professional sports team is truly bizarre–and that’s before you get into any of the union hassles behind it. What team would do this? It doesn’t matter, cause the movie is a blast.

6. Free Willy

This one’s kind of a cheat, but we’re including it. In Free Willy, a 12-year-old essentially becomes a whale trainer at a Sea World-like park. In reality, he winds up there as community service after vandalizing the whale tanks. Working with the whales makes him a better person, then he helps one break out when it’s revealed that its owner is trying to kill it for the insurance money (yes, this is the actual plot). Additionally, did you know there are three sequels to Free Willy?

7. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead

In this movie, the kid in question is actually a high school graduate. Still, at only 17, Sue Ellen manages to lie her way into a high-end fashion job when her only job experience is working at a fast-food joint called Clown Dog. Still, somehow this teenager works more than full-time hours and also has to take care of her siblings because their mom went on vacation to Australia for some unknown amount of time–and, of course, the live-in babysitter died. What a rough summer.

8. Angels in the Outfield

In Angels in the Outfield, a kid is given a job as a consultant to the California Angels baseball team. It’s unclear if he’s actually paid by the team. If not, though, that’s even worse. Why is he given the job? Because he sees literal angels appearing to help the team win. These angels come to the rescue after the kid, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, prays to God to help them win. Why was it so important? Because his estranged father told him they’d only be a family again when the Angels win the pennant. This movie is messed up.

9. D2: The Mighty Ducks

In D2, the Ducks become quasi-celebrities and essentially put their traditional childhood lives behind them to become the face of the United States in the little kid Olympics. Strangely, though, this is pretty realistic. Given how little got done in their tutoring, though, it seems a bit odd. But toward the end of the movie, Charlie Conway–longtime Ducks team captain–steps down from the team so newcomer Russ could play in the game. Gordon then makes him the team’s assistant coach, which seems odd. After all, as a coach, Bombay was making some serious money and connections. What did Charlie get?

10. Hook

Another one that’s kind of a cheat, but in Hook, Rufio is a teenager that’s essentially in charge of a home for wayward boys. He’s not even an adult himself, but the Lost Boys look to him for leadership, rules, and a father-figure, of sorts. He seems to love the job, but when does the poor kid get to just be a kid (besides at dinner time, when they fling colored whipped cream at each other)?

11. Little Big League

If you thought Rookie of the Year making a child join Major League Baseball was a stretch, what about a child that outright owns a team? In Little Big League, a 12-year-old is handed ownership of the Minnesota Twins after his grandfather passed away. He is then left to run a major league team with zero experience. That seems like a terrible thing to do for a kid.

12. Almost Famous

We’re including this one for extra credit. Almost Famous came out in 2000, but it’s such a great movie and a perfect example of this. A 15-year-old somehow lands a writing gig for Rolling Stone and goes on tour with a rock band, all because everyone thinks he’s an adult. It sure made for some great stories–just ask writer/director Cameron Crowe, who based the movie on his own experiences at 16 with the Allman Brothers Band.

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