Snax: “I have a small tear in my eye, it reminds me of the VP times”

Note: This interview was conducted before ENCE’s match against FURIA.

After last stepping onto a Big Event stage at ESL One New York 2018 with MOUZ, Snax will once again grace a crowd with his presence for the IEM Dallas playoffs, where ENCE start their run in the semi-finals after they beat FaZe in the group stage thanks to an inspired performance from the Polish veteran. After spending the past three years playing for domestic lineups and absent from top-level Counter-Strike, Snax didn’t lose a beat, coming in as a stand-in for Lotan “⁠Spinx⁠” Giladi after he was ruled out of the event due to visa issues and wasting no time in proving he still has what it takes to compete against the best.

On the day of the quarter-finals, we sat down with the 28-year-old for a lengthy conversation surrounding his experience being absent from the top level and attempting to play in and bring up younger Polish lineups, as well as making his return to the stage with ENCE. Snax also went in-depth into the struggles he has faced in the Polish scene, spread thin as he was often the only one who picked up roles and positions out of his comfort zone, something which he hopes to avoid as he takes aim at returning to a top team as a lurker.

You took a break in December, you said you weren’t really happy playing the game at the time, what happened back then?

First of all, we were trying to make a good team in Poland, we were trying to take some players that from my perspective back then were good to play in one team together. I think I made a mistake to try to fill all of the roles for the team, for example here, I have one role, lurk role, that I was always good at, so probably this is the position I should stick with and not let it go.

At the beginning of the team I was kind of like a sniper. After the sniper, we were lacking an in-game leader because one guy just left our team because he didn’t feel good in the team, chemistry-wise, and I kind of understand it. When they kicked me, I also understand the chemistry and stuff, it was more friendly for the guys inside the team like a kind of family, but not with all the players, I mean like management, coach, and just some players. As I was saying, at the beginning of the team I was a sniper, then I was in-game leader and sniper, and after that I was a rifle and in-game leader, so for the whole time I was always changing my roles for the team so they would feel better. I didn’t do it for myself, maybe that’s the mistake I’m doing, I should maybe just focus more on myself.

After the EPL Conference, we got a bootcamp in EPC — that’s a Polish place in Warsaw —, we’re practicing, we played a tournament, I think overall I played good, even though I had another role, a new one. But after this I don’t feel like the credit was there. At that time, I had a wedding and other stuff, like I just bought a home, trying to do other stuff with my wife you know, there’s a lot of preparation for those things. Still, I was working a lot of CS, I have a lot of hours, and also I do a lot of strategic work in the team. It was like they didn’t even thank me about my job, because those are younger guys, they have more free time than me and still I was doing more, and after it I didn’t have any credit.

So I called my psychologist, I told him that I don’t have fun from this, I don’t have credit, I just feel bad. I asked him if it’s good for me to take a break, because I just don’t feel like… when I come to the TeamSpeak to the guys after the Conference, I felt empty inside, so my psychologist said after 30 minutes of talking that I should take a break for two, three weeks maybe, just to chill out, just to think about everything, and I did.

After one week or something, maybe around ten days, they didn’t say anything to me from the team, and after that they said they were kicking me out. Also, it was in a weird situation because at the time I was saying let’s do this face to face, so if you have a problem with me or you want to kick me, I’m not mad about it, but do it in a proper way.

So when they kicked you, their official statement at the time was that you were going your separate ways as you had a “different vision of building the squad for 2022.” Was that just a PR spin then, or was there actually something to that?

At the beginning, it was more likely that they wanted to change something, and also I knew that snatchie and rallen would probably quit from the team, so I was like okay, maybe we need to change something again. At the beginning I didn’t know I was going to be kicked, so I didn’t think about anything, I was just chilling kinda in my home, there was Christmas coming and stuff like this. Also I wanted to chill a little bit with my wife because we didn’t have honeymoon time, you know what I mean? Because after the wedding it was also straight to the bootcamp, so I don’t have free time for even my wife, because I was playing a lot.

Then, after I got kicked, the guys told me maybe we should do again a team with KEi and Kylar, but it also didn’t work out. We probably just didn’t work too hard, and I can understand. It was good for me because… well maybe it wasn’t good for me because after two months I again changed my role, so now when I will join a team I won’t say, ‘okay, I can do this, this, this.’ But obviously I can, like to be an in-game leader in Poland because I’m not bad at it, also I can be a little bit of a sniper or second sniper, it’s also good for me, but now I want to stick to one role and have one role for more than four or five months, to play it, focus on it, and do my best to be the best player in that role.

Was there a reason you had to change roles so much, is there just not enough of those players around in Poland to fill those gaps?

No, we have some teams in Poland and you obviously can’t take players from other teams. So if we were lacking on some position, then I said I can do it, and also they asked me if I can do it, so I’m like okay, if we don’t have any substitute or just another guy to take this place, then I can do it, but I think it’s a mistake. All those years in Poland were probably a mistake because most of the players, they don’t have a work ethic.

Most of the time when I was playing in Poland, I had more hours on Steam than them in the past two weeks. It’s not like it’s something for me to celebrate like, ‘yeah, I’m so good, I have more hours!’, for me, if I was in their position and I would see the guy who has probably achieved a lot in CS right now still has more hours than me, then it would motivate me more. I still want to play, I’m hungry for titles, I still want to show that I’m good and that’s why I’m playing. I love this game, it’s giving me so much fun in my life, and also it was a whole part of my life.

So it would be a mistake to go back and play in Poland for you then?

I would say if I would get some good proposition from some good team, I for sure want to go even international. Right now in ENCE I’m feeling really good, I can talk really good with those guys, and I also feel free to joke and stuff like this.

This team reminds of the VP guys, like mostly pasha, kuben, and byali because with them mostly I had funny times. I really understand those three and we had a lot of fun like these guys have. This is the kind of team I would like to have, also Snappi is such a great leader, I really like to work with him.

There hasn’t been a top tier Polish team in quite a while, why do you think that is?

From my perspective, because I’ve been in these Polish teams for two years now or maybe more, the first thing I can say is that when I was top two in Poland in 2010, I got maybe 50 Euros per month, it wasn’t that much. I wasn’t playing for money, I was playing to be better, to achieve something in this CS game, and now for me, when young people are coming to the team and they get even 500 Euros, when you are 15, 16 years old, then it’s something for you already in life. You can live with that and stuff like this, it’s good money for young people because they’re just playing and they’re just having fun.

So maybe, I’m not sure, I’m just speculating, but maybe the people… like I said, for me, I was working hard just to be better, I want the results, and some people maybe if they get some money they’re already like, ‘okay, I’m good, I will chill a little bit,’ and it wasn’t the case in my situation.

Also I said before the work ethic is not on point overall in Poland. I also think most of the Polish players are playing for stats. This is also a common thing in Poland: if you have five guys in the team, the first when I’m playing at the beginning, I’m looking for my mistakes. Not like I did a mistake, but I will forget it, and I will say to another guy, ‘you made a mistake here.’ First, I need to focus on myself, and then I can help the other guy. But in Poland it is like, I will first tell the other guy, and if he says something to me, then I will just do a ping pong battle.

It just becomes a blame game,

Yeah, exactly, and this is so bad because I think I had this problem, I think the Polish people can’t play with me probably because I achieved a lot of things in CS right now, they are maybe intimidated by me and my achievements a little bit, and I don’t think I’m meant to be scary.

I was always trying to be funny, to create good chemistry in the team, to have fun in the game, but people are maybe a little bit intimidated, and also I don’t think that they really listen to me. After that much time playing in the scene and in competition, events and stuff like this, I think I have a little bit of wisdom in this game. I want to teach them my way, how I see it, how I would play it, and still they are thinking, ‘he wants to put himself on top, as if he’s better than us.’

They don’t really respect the veteran status and you trying to teach them?

Yeah, obviously it’s not all of the players, I don’t want to blame all of Poland, that’s not the point. I think there’s maybe 60% or maybe even more people that are playing for themselves and not for the team.

Okay let’s move forward a bit, coming here and playing with an international team in ENCE, It’s been a while, your last international team was the MOUZ lineup which didn’t last too long-

Yeah, about the mousesports situation I can say. I had a talk with chrisJ back in the day, and they told me that I would have these roles, we talked about that. I had other options at that time, but I chose mousesports because it was fitting my role, and I was happy with the positions they told me. But after I joined, there was not a lot of time to work on anything, like the structure, because events were coming, like ESL Cologne, then something else, then something else, so we don’t have that much time to change.

After we won New York, I still asked if we can change something in the team so I can feel better, because I went to the team and I just filled STYKO’s shoes. It wasn’t like that when we were talking about what I will do in the team. I was just not happy in the team, I didn’t have fun from the game, the chemistry in the team wasn’t that good. I mean it wasn’t bad but it’s not the same obviously like here in ENCE, so I didn’t have fun and didn’t want to play.

Then coming to stand-in for ENCE here, you’ve mentioned you’re putting in a lot of individual effort into your preparation, working on your role.

In mousesports I didn’t need to do much, I just needed to write what I’m doing most of the game because they aren’t structured like in here. Here, when we went on the TeamSpeak I prepared a lot, even Marco [Snappi] is saying I don’t need to write it, but I said to him, ‘man, I will write it so it is easier in the game, so you don’t need to talk a lot to me, that way I can also focus on my game and you can also focus on your game, because if I wouldn’t do it, you would be focusing on two people, and I also would be thinking what I need to do in the game.’ So it’s better for me, I was well prepared, and also I was playing a lot of hours just preparing for this event. I think I’m doing pretty well.

You said in an interview with BanKs that you feel like you can play tier one, and you’re proving it here. Going forward with that, are you open to any offers, international, Europe, North America?

Yeah, now I’m open to any proposition from a team. I’m looking for all of them, whatever it is, North America, European, international. I would like to prove myself, I think I’m showing it here, and also I’m always a LAN player, not online, it’s always bad for me and also you can see it in the past, VP never qualified to ESL Pro League from the internet, or maybe just once, we were so bad on the internet and I was really bad on the internet.

When it comes to LAN, my experience, my calmness in the game, I’m showing that I can still be a good player, and also I think Snappi mentioned it, I’m good at calling. I still want to do it if I see the gap, I’m trying to say it. So yeah, I’m ready. I just want to have one role. Mostly I would like to be a lurker because I can see the gaps, and also I’m really chill, you can see it in clutch situations, I still remember how to clutch.

Also if could say about my role, most of the time in my teams I was the B player or the anchor, these are also good positions for me, I don’t mind it. It depends on the team. I can also be a secondary AWP, I did that mostly in VP, so I’m good with that too. I can do mostly everything, but after those three years that I wasn’t playing in good teams, I think that my main role should be a lurker, and on some maps if we lack something, then I can take a position for that, but not change for the entire team.

Have you found it hard to adjust to the current meta at a top level after so long away on lower tier teams?

Now when I’m playing, the meta didn’t change that much actually. I was also playing in tier two or tier three, and those teams are trying to copy their styles, so it’s a little bit similar. The people in tier one are not making that many mistakes, so you need to be focused all the time on the game, you can’t let it go away for even a second. You always need to be focused and always be chilled so that you’re playing your game, and not focusing on other stuff. I don’t feel the meta has changed a lot, when I was playing it was pretty much the same.

With these other obligations in life you were mentioning earlier, spending time with your wife, in your home, do you find that hard to balance at all with the time you want to commit to the game?

I had a talk with my wife about this and she still thinks that I probably should play more in CS because she thinks that I’m still good. I even doubted myself a little bit at this LAN after we beat G2 and FaZe. I’m not going to lie, I have a small tear in my eye, it reminds me of the VP times, also you can see it, I’m tearing up a little bit now. It was just a nice experience to play again against those teams and be a good player again. I had doubts in myself before. To talk about what you said, about spending time with my wife, she’s okay with me playing because she knows that’s the thing I love in my life, I was doing it for my entire life.

You’ll also have the chance to play in front of a crowd now, you’ve always been a bit of a showman on stage. How do you feel about going back up there?

Back in the days, I was mostly playing much better on stages. I think it’s not because of me being used to it, it’s because other people can be a little bit shaky as they are playing in front of a crowd. In my entire life, there is only one person that makes me uncomfortable when I’m playing, it’s my mom actually [laughs]. When I was living with my mom and she was standing behind me, I was shaky and I couldn’t focus, but when she’s not there then it’s fine. I don’t care, it can be one million people behind me, it’s okay, but if it’s my mom behind me, I cannot focus, I don’t know why. She’s laughing about it obviously.

I love to play in front of crowd, you can see my gestures like this and this after Cobble [imitates hand gestures from his 1vs4 clutch vs. NAVI], so maybe I’m kinda a little, little showman [smiles]. Just trying to make it fun.

No problem playing either G2 or FURIA when you’re up there?

We already beat G2 and FaZe, and they are like the best team here probably. If we already beat them, I think we can do it again. I told the guys I came here for a win, we’ll see if we can do it. You know CS is CS, one match you can win and the second match you can lose, but I hope I will win.

What would it mean to you to win it all after coming into your first Big Event like this in a long time?

It would be awesome man… yeah, it would be awesome. I can’t describe it. There is a lot now going on in my mind, it would be nice. I’m really happy if the guys can win it, because there will be a badge on the HLTV page for them, and also I will be part of it, so it would be so nice to have those guys, especially hades and dycha. I think they’re really good players and I hope they will achieve more and more.