{"id":1726328,"date":"2022-06-26T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-26T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/platogaming.com\/?post_type=station&p=1726328"},"modified":"2022-06-26T10:04:33","modified_gmt":"2022-06-26T14:04:33","slug":"11-first-date-ideas-for-getting-to-know-someone-quickly","status":"publish","type":"station","link":"https:\/\/platogaming.com\/plato-data\/11-first-date-ideas-for-getting-to-know-someone-quickly\/","title":{"rendered":"11 first date ideas for getting to know someone quickly"},"content":{"rendered":"
I finally downloaded Hinge on March 1, 2020, when I was ready to give dating another try<\/a><\/u> after a messy relationship had ended. We all know what happened about two weeks later: COVID hit, and dating had to take a pause. But as we learned to adjust our lives to an ongoing pandemic, dating changed to fit with the times<\/a><\/u>. <\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to feel like the pandemic stole away valuable time to find a potential partner, especially if you had certain milestones in mind, like getting married or having kids in the near future. My dating life during the early days of the pandemic was mostly virtual<\/a><\/u> and involved multiple instances of ghosting<\/a><\/u>. But once I was vaccinated<\/a><\/u>, I was ready for something more serious and purposeful.<\/p>\n Turns out, so are a lot of other people. Two of the biggest dating trends of 2022<\/a><\/u> so far are choosing priorities \u2014 deciding what you want and being honest and upfront with potential partners from the jump \u2014 and increased vulnerability and mindfulness \u2014 actually being open and letting people in, rather than jumping from situationship to situationship. In other words, people are choosing to date more efficiently<\/a>. <\/p>\n Dr. John De Oca<\/a><\/u>, a relationship expert and nurse practitioner, says the first step in efficient dating is defining your goal, whether it\u2019s that you want a casual relationship, you want to date to learn more about yourself and what you want for your romantic life, or you\u2019re ready for commitment. \u201cSo, going down one of those avenues and being very clear about it, both in how you interact with people and in your own mindset as well,\u201d De Oca said.<\/p>\n <\/a>\n<\/div>\n As for any supposed milestones, De Oca discourages his clients from chasing them and instead promotes dating<\/a> in terms of what feels right.<\/p>\n \u201cWe want to make sure that we\u2019re dating people that meet our relationship goals vs. just dating people that are going to get us to our goals because we want to be in longterm relationships,\u201d De Oca said.<\/p>\n To execute an efficient dating life, De Oca suggests taking advantage of the time before<\/em> you go on a first date \u2014 especially if you\u2019re online dating<\/a><\/u>. He says to talk on the phone, have a FaceTime conversation, and be deliberate with the types of questions you’re asking. For instance, says De Oca, if you know your love language is physical touch, ask the person how affectionate they are. Use this time to pre-screen the person and actually get to know them vs. mindlessly talking to people and just saying, \u201cGood morning\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d<\/p>\n Once you do get to that first date, you have the opportunity to get tons of insight as to whether or not the person is a good fit for what you\u2019re looking for. You don\u2019t want to go on just any first date, though, if you\u2019re trying to date efficiently \u2014 some dates are much better than others when it comes to getting to know people quickly. <\/p>\n You won\u2019t be able to get the absolute complete<\/em> picture of a person just from one date, but if you know what you\u2019re looking for, what personality traits you want in a partner, and what gives you the ick<\/a><\/u>, these first dates can help you dig that up faster. Just remember to set your dating goals and keep them in mind as you go out on dates.<\/p>\n <\/a>\n<\/div>\n Dinner and drinks is a classic date for a reason. De Oca says \u201canything that stimulates conversation, any kind of environment where you could lean into one another and get to know each other\u201d makes for a great first date if you\u2019re trying to date efficiently. Informationally, it’s a treasure trove: You’re seated across from each other, and all you really have to do is talk (and eat). If you want to find out how the person carries on a conversation, get the chance to ask about their childhood, see how they eat (hopefully with their mouth shut), and learn how they treat a waitstaff, dinner and drinks is a stellar choice.<\/p>\n People-watching is fun, but it can also be a great test. You\u2019ll see how your date speaks about other people, what they\u2019re judgmental about, and if they have funny commentary or are a straight-up bully. (Look for a person who has something quippy to say about how someone\u2019s interacting with their dog vs. something that\u2019s simply mean about someone\u2019s appearance.) Plus, observing other people automatically gives you a jumping-off point for conversation, whereas sitting across from each other at a dinner table can lead you to feel like you have to pull conversation topics out of your ass. You still get the close-up talking, but without the awkward silences when you\u2019re trying to slurp spaghetti without looking feral.<\/p>\n Doing an activity helps prevent awkward pauses. And you get to see the other person’s competitive side and if they\u2019re a real-life version of the Hinge prompt red flag<\/a><\/u>,<\/u> \u201cI\u2019m overly competitive about: everything.\u201d De Oca says, \u201cI think an activity is always good because it kinda gets the adrenaline pumping.\u201d But you also want some down time where you can actually have a conversation, he adds, so don\u2019t focus too<\/em> hard on winning, and remember to actually vet your date\u2019s personality along with their sportsmanship. <\/p>\n <\/a>\n<\/div>\n Intelligence is up there on the list of qualities people look for in a partner, and while trivia is not the most accurate test of intelligence \u2014 I mean, who actually knows what cynophobia is? \u2014 it’s a good test of common sense and problem-solving. (Cynophobia is the fear of dogs, btw.) You can learn how the person handles stress, if they get frustrated when they\u2019re wrong or don\u2019t know an answer, how well they listen to you, and how the two of you work together as a team. Go for a drink afterward to digest the questions and talk about something other than random facts you\u2019ll forget by the end of the night.<\/p>\n If you want to see how someone holds their liquor, pump them full of mimosas at 11 a.m. Brunch holds less pressure than a dinner date, but still promotes conversation and lets you see how they act toward service industry workers (and if they offer to pick up the tab, or how well they tip). De Oca is not a big fan of coffee dates because they tend to be very quick, but brunch fits the daytime bill, is more fun, and gives you time to get to know your date. Just don\u2019t get so boozy you forget to ask the right questions to suss out whether this person fits into your goals.<\/p>\n One of my personal favorites, a comedy show is great for weeding people out if a compatible sense of humor is important to you. If you aren\u2019t laughing at the same jokes, a second date probably isn\u2019t even worth it. And if they\u2019re laughing at some questionable jokes, you get a sense of their morals pretty easily. You won\u2019t have much opportunity to chat during the show, so plan to do something else afterward to talk about the acts and about yourselves.<\/p>\n
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\n4 of the top dating trends for 2022, so far<\/p>\n
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\nLooking for love? These are the most popular dating sites and apps, according to actual users.<\/p>\nDinner and\/or drinks<\/h2>\n
People-watching at the park<\/h2>\n
\nCredit: Bob Al-Greene \/ Mashable<\/span>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nA game like mini-golf or bowling<\/h2>\n
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\nThe best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating<\/p>\nTrivia<\/h2>\n
Bottomless brunch<\/h2>\n
Comedy show<\/h2>\n