Plumbers Don't Wear Ties: Definitive Edition Review | TheXboxHub

Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition Review | TheXboxHub

There are certain examples of B-movies that many say are so bad that they become brilliant to watch, the amazing example of the film “The Room” that in the 2000s got labelled the worst film of all time. Its renown made it so famous that people would pack cinemas to see it and laugh, becoming an event piece of cinema. 

In games, Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties got this label, is seen as one of the worst games ever made. But that didn’t stop people from playing it. 

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Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties – do they?

Limited Run Games, they behind Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition know that they have a bad game on their hands. They know it is something that has been criticised, talked about since release of the original game back in the 1990s. This offering – the Definitive Edition – is a celebration and documentary of the making of that game, giving an insight into the CD-ROM and FMV market from decades ago. 

Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties was first released in 1993, then on the 3DO console in 1994. At that time it got panned with universally negative reviews, gathering up the label of worst video game of all time. Despite being labelled as an FMV experience, the game has one introduction video at the beginning. This sequence sees the lead actress talking to the camera, with a sheet taped against the wall as a backdrop. It does set the tone. 

The rest of the game focuses on photos to tell the story, with some music and voice-over accompanying. But let’s talk about the narrative. 

You’ll want to remember that this was released in the 1990s when you go looking at the themes of the story. It’s sexist, madcap, and a bit risky in terms of a small amount of nudity. But I think the developers are completely aware of this and know what they are doing. It tells the tale of Jane and John, two strangers who cross paths. Your goal – as the gamer – is to try to get them together. Jane is going to a job interview and meets John, a plumber with a tie. A pervy boss interviews Jane which then results in a mad dash across LA and ends with him proposing she sleeps with him for 5 million pounds. It goes to many different places depending on what avenue you choose to go down. 

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It’s all very much of its time

Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition plays with the ‘choose your own adventure’ format, and it works well. In the story, you can choose which direction the characters can go in, all while a sort of narrator/gamesmaster speaks directly to you. Sometimes he has a chicken’s head on, occasionally he berates you for making a saucy choice. At one point the narrator fights with another for control. It’s all very meta and I quite enjoyed these bits. 

When you’ve completed Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition you can look back at all your choices, choosing again should you so wish, or looking back over the chapters. There have been lots of extras and documentary features about the making of the game included and to get these features you explore a very 90’s 3D maze game, hunting them down while being chased by an animated boss from the game. The documentaries and BTS commentary are good, probably the best thing about this as a package. There is something to be said about these almost-museum pieces and archive game collections. For me, I find them important and fascinating to watch. 

On the other side, and there is no getting around this, Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition is bad, especially in terms of presentation and mechanics. Some photos are badly damaged, but they have still been placed in the game. There are also certain sequences which have continuity errors; although personally I quite liked these. And there’s no doubt, the sexism hasn’t aged well, but I think the madcap nature of everything allows for a lot of fun, especially the chase through LA and an ending which absolutely goes for it in terms of changing the story. 

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Might be best to run

The big question you’ll want answering is whether or not Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition is worth trying out. Honestly, I’m still unsure. Yes, it’s nice to be able to experience a slice of 90’s gaming history and it’s important to examine the bad games as well as the most acclaimed from times past. But on the flipside, there are certain themes and mechanics we want to forget for good reason… 

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